Saturday, February 19, 2011


My mother has been coughing badly for about 3.5 months. She had visited many doctors, went for x-ray but found nothing. Her cough didn't get better but worse after taking all the antibiotics, pills, even inhaler from the doctors. Then my father decided to bring her to do a proper checkup in Singapore after failing to get the specialist at Normah hospital (as the doctors were either on leave or not available during CNY).

Within one day, the doctor at Mount Elizabeth Hospital., Singapore did a CT scan and found out there was a bone embedded in her lung. She did her scope twice and her lung collapsed after the procedure. Her lung went swollen and caused her unable to breath. My sister told me that my mother suffered and lost a lot of blood. We were so worried and kept praying that she will be fine.

My eldest sister kept keeping us updated with my mother's condition through email. In my reply, I always typed that I believe mum will be alright with confidence.

God knows that I was very worry but I kept telling myself and believing that she will be fine. I remember the book - Law of Attraction. We need to have positive thoughts to attract the positive outcome. When we believe the positive result already happened, it will happened eventually as that is how the law of attraction works!

I prayed to God that I wish to live shorter to let my mother live longer that night. A sound asked " You have been using the same prayers for your grandpa, father and now mother whenever they are very ill, how many years do you think you have in this life?"
I told the sound "I have no idea how many years I have left but I just wish my family can live longer & healthier than me. Then that is more than enough. "
When I opened my eyes, my princess was looking at me closely with her big rounded eyes.I gave her a kiss and a hug with guilt inside me.

I have no idea whether my genuine prayers work or not but praise the Lord that my mother has recovered and discharged from the hospital. The doctor said she will be fully recovered in 3-4 months time.

On the same day, I went to the hospital for getting a x-ray done for myself. After the radiologist saw the x-ray film, I was told to get CT scan done. When the CT scan result came out, the orthopedic advised me to do a blood test. After a few days, if my condition is not improving, I will have to do MRI scan.

No matter how the result will be, I would like to thank God for reminding me that it's time for me to cherish the people around more.

Today, I just slowed down my pace and learn to appreciate things I have been ignoring all these time. I thought I will only do that after many years but seems like I'm doing it earlier. I think this is life. I wish that when the day arrive, I can tell myself that I have no worries and burden at all. Everything will be in good hands and I'm ready to go.

p/s: My cousin scolded, "How can you have such prayers. Don't you know that you are no longer alone? You have your princess? You want her to grow up without your presence?"
My sisters also scolded, "Do you want your daughter to be ill-treated by her step-mother?"

Well, what can I do? I believe in destiny. I can only do so little when I'm still around. When I'm gone, I can only bless my family with all my heart. Life is unpredictable and we are here for temporary stage play. Just have faith in God and everything will be fine.

I love you, daddy!
I love you, mummy!
I love you, Winnie, Gladys, Ervinna, Cliff and Irene (Jia En & Jia Yao)!
I love you, hubby!
I love you, princess!
I love you all, my friends!
Thank you for being with me all these years! Because of your presence, I can be who I am!

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